Posted In: #BlueFlame47 Written on April 6, 2020.
One of my most cherished home activities is waxing our dining table. It needs a good coat of beeswax every few weeks to keep the sycamore wood from drying out. As I was rubbing the wax across the table, I thought of the reservations we had just weeks before in New York. A long-planned trip met a quick end when the day before our departure, Pappa said simply, “Stay.” All preparation paused and His Presence arrested us. Rested with us.
That whisper of stay stirred me to sweet and still. Our reservations weren’t cancelled after all. They were moved, from tabletops abroad to our sycamore slab that abounds when we abide.
Every morning since, I scoot silent and smooth up to the cool wood with streams of light beginning to warm its width. I lay my hands upon and pour my heart across it for a bit as Pappa shares what He has reserved for us. And I am navigated to all my appointments with Him. To the cool of the day and the heat of His heart. Each dawn to dusk is full of His best invitations, scrolled and sealed, awaiting my RSVP.
In Hebrew, the word reservation means “an invitation or official request.” Oh, but in the Everlasting there is ever more. Reservation unfolds and unfurls to mean “to learn, to memorize, to hammer, to sharpen and to indent.” Indent is my favorite as it expresses the mark made when we still the scurry and see Him before us. For us.
An indention is made with a hammer or sharpening tool. I think of Michelangelo who would see a wedge of marble and long to apply his chisel to find the beauty and allow it be released and realized.
In these appointed days with few appointments but the most marvelous engagements, I’m grateful for the hammer and chisel. So many are are the beauties I have yet to see. And be.
Bound to beauty, awaiting its revealing in the midst of His reserving.
To allow this indention creates space at the very edge of our surface. It frames us found and forming. Malleable to majesty. The surface is seared and the space sewn sacred.
A reservation in Hebrew, means “whet or whetted.” Whet is defined as “being made keen or eager.” It is a coordinate for having courage and curiosity contented. I have found it sweetly satisfying. With hammer and chisel in His holy hand, He is freeing queries and quests, cadence and color, sigh, sound and sob, in me. For me. I am daily eager for it now. I can’t live without it. Not true life. Not revived life.
I am keen for His Kingdom. I am kept for it. And I am careening toward an unreserved life, lived only in His reservations.
Pesach is coming and I can barely breath at the thought of it. Did you know that in Hebrew the word ‘seder’ comes from the same roots as reservation? I didn’t until a morning with my flesh upon wood, colliding with a carpenter who knows better than I, wood and flesh. Bone and breath. There He met me with the marrow and waited patiently for me to grow the word from His seed. Seder too means “to indent” and “to whet”. It means to be changed into that which we have always been, but not yet seen. Water breaking and passage making. Pangs of promise knocking upon our crimson-stained heart hearths.
I was sitting in this holy moment, a space made still and sacred through thanks giving for all Pappa has been doing moment by momentous in these days. A satisfied sigh made its way to my world when this quote was texted to me by my dearest Idg:
Satan: “I will cause anxiety, fear and panic. I will shut down business, schools, places of worship, and sports events. I will cause economic turmoil.”
Jesus: “I will bring together neighbors, restore the family unit, I will bring dinner back to the kitchen table. I will help people slow down their lives and appreciate what really matters. I will teach my children to rely on me and not the world. I will teach my children to trust me and not their money and material resources.” (from The Screwtape Letters)
C.S. Lewis wrote these words in 1942 in the midst of World War II. Words not so different from those resting in many of our hearts right now.
My heart beats brave and bold with the meditation and meaning of nothing looking the same, being familiar after this stay. We are being readied to rely on Him. Only. With the arms and hands of each other heavied with truer treasures, tales and testimonies. Testaments.
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